lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
