if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
