Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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