the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
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