Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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