Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize