i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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