i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
You've changed since you got that strap on
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize