i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
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