I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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