this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
