Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
