his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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