then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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