My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
