Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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