Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
