Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
