I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
