im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
