oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
