also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
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