Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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