When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
