You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I'm lost and stupid without you.
If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
