If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
