I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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