I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I'm passing your future prison.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
Randomize
