I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Randomize
