i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Randomize