Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
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