I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
