im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
