i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Randomize
