Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Randomize
