you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
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