I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
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