Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
i out mim tonsoeep
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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