Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
