so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
