i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
