Betty ford says i'm here all night
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
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