Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Text me some of your sweat
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