It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
no more duck duck goose at the bar
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Randomize
