btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
