So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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