I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
Randomize
