and next time when you feel me up, do it right
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize