Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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