Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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