She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
