Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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