yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Randomize
