He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
