Say something about gay babies.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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