No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
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